A Firefly Flew In
by c-wolf
Summary: Set in Red Witch's Misfits Universe. The Crew of Serenity including River meet The Misfits. The universe will probably run screaming.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-men, G.I. Joe, or Firefly. Red Witch came up with the unique idea of the Misfits.

(Post Serenity. Warning: There will be a few spoilers. Basically wanted to give River some resources in order to heal quicker. As insane as those resources may be.)

"Why am I here again?" Forge asked as he looked at the mass transportation device.

General Hawk sighed. "We need you to help Trinity put in some security features."

"Oh?"

"Yes. Do you remember when you brought the Three Stooges and a certain Xander Harris to our dimension?"

Forge flinched. "Don't remind me. Thanks to Logan, I had several stitches."

"Should have received several more…" Beachhead muttered.

Forge blinked and opened his mouth. Then his eyes got large as Trinity dragged him away.

"Wait! You're leaving me alone with them!" Forge yelled.

Hawk and Beachhead walked away.

"Oh don't worry Forge. You won't be." Lance said with a grin. Behind him were Pietro, Arcade, Todd, and Althea.

Forge yelled louder. "Take me with you!"

"So." Hawk asked. "Is there anything I need to avoid in the cafeteria this time?"

"NOOOOO!"

"No sir. They ordered takeout this time."

They continued to walk away.

"From where?"

"One of those new pizza delivery places. The old ones won't come near us for some reason."

They both heard screaming coming from the main entrance. Then they saw a delivery van speeding away.

"So, we cross them off too?"

Hawk sighed. "That's the last time we have Fred greet them."

Daria looked down at the whimpering Forge. "Oh don't be such a baby."

Brittany and Quinn grinned. "Yeah. We promise not to torture you until after we fix this."

"Like that makes me feel any better."

Lance got a funny look on his face. "Why should I pull the lever?"

Althea groaned. "Lance did you forget your medication again?"

Forge's eyes got wide. "Don't touch that!"

* * *

Mal yawned as he poured some coffee in the kitchen. Things were relatively back to normal. Though, why normal was applied to River flying the ship was anyone's guess. But she'd proved herself adequately in that skill.

Zoe walked out of the cockpit. "Sir?"

"Yes?" Mal asked with a pensive look on her face. She had that tone again. So much for going a day without trouble.

"You need to see this."

He sighed. Yes the day was starting out normal alright. He walked into the cockpit.

River turned and looked at him. "We're going on a long trip."

"What do you…" Then the ship shuddered. "Jen dao mei."

* * *

BANG

Shipwreck, Covergirl, and Low Light ran toward the explosion.

"What now!"

"Wasn't Forge helping with the transport device?"

"Who let him near it?" Covergirl yelled. "You know what happened the last time he worked on a device!"

"Which one?" Low Light asked.

"Pick."

They ran into the room and paused in shock.

Sitting on the device was a large ship.

"COOL!" Trinity yelled. "Can we keep it?"

Forge lay sprawled on the floor with smoke coming off of him and a black eye from where Lance hit him as he passed by. "Did we win? What was the score?"

"I'll let you know after I kill the coyote." Lance yelled as he rolled about on the floor pummeling thin air.

* * *

Translations: Jen Dao Mei Just our luck! 


	2. Insane First Meetings

Yep. Mal thought to himself as he lay sprawled on the floor with Zoe laying haphazardly on top of him. The day was starting off dandy. What it was starting off as was still debatable.

River was humming to herself as she looked out the window at the interior of the building they'd appeared in.

Jayne, Kaylee, and Simon stumbled in.

Jayne blinked as he stared at Mal and Zoe. "Something you want to tell us?" He asked with a grin.

"Oh shut up."

"What happened anyway?"

Mal glared then nodded in River's direction. "Ask her. She's the pilot. I'm just the Fong Luh captain."

River chuckled. "Join the club."

"Very funny." Mal said as Simon helped Zoe up. Then he staggered to his feet.

"Where are we?" Jayne said as he stared out at the surroundings. "And how'd we get here?"

Mal spoke. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"Peace is relative, but insanity reigns." River smiled slightly.

Simon blinked. "What?"

She turned to him. "They won't harm us."

Mal sighed as he pondered her words. "Might as well get it over with. Jayne grab a weapon or two. River, open the bay door when I give the signal. Zoe you're with us. Simon stay with your sister."

Zoe and Jayne left to follow his orders.

"You won't need guns here." River replied.

"Shouldn't I be the judge of that? I am the captain after all." Mal replied. "Oh, and Kaylee? Figure out why our engine won't restart."

"Gotcha."

* * *

Covergirl groaned. "Ok. What happened?"

"It's all his fault!" Lance yelled while pointing at mid air. "Yes it is!" He paused. "Yes it is!"

She rubbed her head. "Try to calm him down Lowlight."

"Why me?"

"Who do you think has a better chance of calming Trinity. You or Shipwreck?"

"Good point." Lowlight grumbled and walked over to the manic mutant. He dragged him by the arm toward a corner. "Come on."

"What about him?" Lance yelled as he looked at a space above the floor.

"Bring him along. The more the merrier." Lowlight growled.

Todd, Althea, and Pietro stared at her. "We didn't do it!"

"Of course not. It was the idiot inventor over there and one of his wacky inventions." Covergirl said as she walked over and yanked him up.

Forge looked up dazedly. "All they asked was for me to attach a lever or two…"

Shipwreck started to speak when a door opened up in the ship. He and Covergirl looked over at the ship. A ramp was starting down.

"So what do you think it is this time? We've already dealt with aliens. Giant purple dinosaurs?"

Covergirl sighed. "Can't you be serious?"

Shipwreck grinned. "I am. You think they have any beer?"

"Listen you…"

As the two argued, Arcade walked up to the group of perplexed people standing just outside the ship.

"Hi. Don't mind them, they do that all the time."

Mal glared at the kid with the glasses. "Which group?" He asked while pointing first toward Trinity who were trying to pull down Forge's pants. Then he pointed to Covergirl who was strangling Shipwreck.

Then everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Lowlight who was yelling.

"That's it! Point out where Coyote is so I can strangle him!" Then he paused. "What am I saying?" Then threw his hands up in the air and walked away.

Lance looked around. "What?"

Althea and Todd walked up. "Welcome to the insanity we call home."

Mal rubbed his head. "Just tell us what planet we're on and where the nearest repair facility is. Our engine is out."

Shipwreck l finally joined the conversation with Covergirl following behind. He walked right past Mal and stuck his hand out to Zoe who took it reflexively.

He lifted her hand to his lips and said "Welcome to Earth dear lady. Shall I show you some of our delights?"

CLICK

He paled and looked down at the firearm that was pointed between his legs.

Zoe leaned forward. "Want me to shoot one?"

Althea grabbed her father and yanked him back. "Excuse the walking hormone that's my father."

"Wait a minute!" Mal yelled. "Earth can't support life!"

Forge finally got free and walked over. "Let me guess. Alternate dimension? Or the future?"

"What?"

Arcade grinned. "Welcome to the year 2005."

"No I'm not going to dress up like a prostitute on Halloween!" Lance yelled as he ran out of the room.

"Excuse us." Althea spoke up. "Todd and I have to chase down one of our resident lunatics." Then they ran off.

Jayne blinked. "At least River will feel right at home here." Then he yelled as Trinity tackled him and dragged him away.

Covergirl chased after them yelling. "No experimenting on the guests!"

"We just want to see him naked!"

Mal groaned and walked to the communicator linked to the bridge. "You were right. They won't harm us. But we might wish they had before this is over."

Translations-- Fong Luh (Loopy In The Head)


	3. Talking

(Generally the first two chapters set the tone. But I'm trying for a more serious fic. Doesn't mean there won't be Misfit insanity in it of course. It'll just take a little longer for each chapter.Also, in the heat of the moment I forgot to put Inara in. It was unintentional. )

As Mal and the rest stood watching the chaos, Inara walked down the ramp.

"Mal."

"Inara."

She smiled slightly. "You could have woken me."

Mal shook his head. "We didn't have time."

"Oh?"

"Well, in between going through some type of vortex and listening to Jayne screaming like a little girl from his room…."

"Hey!" Jayne snarled as he staggered back to the ship with the help of Xi.

Mal blinked. "Who or what…"

Xi shrugged. "I'm a genetically engineered assassin."

Mal rubbed his head. "Great. And I thought having to deal with a teenage girl with telepathic abilities who had been messed with by a government was bad."

Simon glared slightly. "Telling secrets?"

"Might as well. They don't know when they'll get the device fixed yet. And we're definitely not in Alliance territory."

Mal gestured at the surroundings. "The tech is low compared to Alliance core worlds. There's too much pollution for one thing. And the techs definitely too high for the outer planets."

River walked out with Kaylee. "Smarter than you look."

"Let me guess. You figured it out before we left the ship." Mal mock glared at her.

River smiled and didn't say a word.

Covergirl walked up with General Hawk.

Hawk looked around at the group. "I have a conference room set up. We can talk more in detail there."

Mal looked at his people. Then he looked back and nodded.

Jayne spoke up. "Have anything to eat?"

"Jayne…"

"What? I didn't have any breakfast!"

* * *

General Hawk rubbed his eyes as he stared at the people in the conference room. Then he glared at Forge.

"The transporter is down until you can get the problem fixed. Which means that our guests are stuck here for the duration. Have I got it right so far?"

"Yes."

Then Hawk looked at Mal. "As far as we can determine, you're from an alternate dimension. Right?"

"Don't ask me. All I know is that humans haven't lived on Earth for a long time."

Hawk nodded. "Right." Then he glared at Forge again. "Get it fixed."

"It'll take some time."

Hawk stood up and leaned close to the inventor. Then he pointed outside at Moe, Larry, and Curly who were attempting to paint the outside walls of one of the storage areas.

"I have a hard enough time with them being here. Do you have any idea how painful it is to look at some of the rooms they've painted? And let's not forget their attempts at cooking! B.A. is still taking sleeping pills."

Inara, being the only one capable of keeping Mal calm, had come along to the meeting. "We're not that bad are we?"

"No… but my sanity isn't exactly in stable condition thanks to some of the things that go on around here."

As he spoke, Mal and the rest watched in shock as a teddy bear in military uniform flew by the window with jets strapped to its back. A man in green with a mask over his face was screaming as he hung on for dear life.

Jayne twitched as he heard the maniacal laughter of the three teenage girls who'd dragged him away earlier..

"See what I mean?"

Inara smiled placatingly. "I'm sure we'll keep out of trouble."

"Gorram it!" Jayne snarled. "You just jinxed us!"

Hawk sighed. "Please. How bad could you possibly be compared to what we deal with?"

"Want a list?" Mal spoke with a slight smile.

Hawk blinked. Then turned to River when she spoke.

"Can't have Serenity without trouble. Peace has to be fought for."

Everyone stared blankly at her.

Mal sighed while glaring in her general direction "Apparently we can't have it without a little insanity either."

River smiled. "Goes without saying."

Hawk rubbed his head. "Let me guess. There's a longer story here."

"No s..."

SLAP.

"OW!" Jayne yelled and turned to look at Zoe.

"No cussing."

"I was just going to…"

"Can it!" Mal spoke sharply.

"Fine."

Covergirl groaned. "They might actually fit in with The Misfits."

River giggled.

Hawk nodded to himself. "Since there's no guarantee when the transporter will be fixed, is there anything specific we need to know? How to treat your needs etc."

SMACK

"INARA!" Jayne yelled. "I wasn't going to say anything."

Simon sighed as he attempted to speak to Hawk over the chaos. "It's complicated."

"How so?"

Simon stared sadly at his sister who had started staring into space. Hawk looked over too.

"What happened?"

"That's where the complication comes in."


	4. Tours

Kaylee sighed as she tinkered with the engine. Everything seemed shiny, but the test fire she'd tried hadn't worked.

Now she was checking every single piece. If she had to, she could take the engine apart and put it back together.

As she was thinking to herself about how exactly to go about that in the tiny space she had to work with, 3 figures walked into the engine room.

"HI!" They yelled.

Kaylee screamed and banged her head as she tried to sit up in the enclosed space. "Ow…"

She slid out and looked dazedly up at the three identical girls staring down at her as she rubbed her head.

"How'd you get in here?"

They blinked. "The hatch was open."

Kaylee shook her head and sat up. "What are you doing here anyway?"

The three grinned. "We're bored."

Kaylee sighed. "So am I. This engine won't do what it's supposed to do. Makes no sense."

"Can we help?"

Kaylee blinked. "Um…"

Brittany smiled. "We know all about fixing things…"

"Like what?"

"How to make teddy bears fly."

"What?"

The three girls gestured to her to follow them out. So she went.

When she got outside the ship, she watched a man with a mask scream as he held on for dear life to a jet-propelled teddy bear.

"Shiny."

* * *

As General Hawk opened his mouth, Jayne spoke up.

"Can we go eat something while you and the doc swap stories?"

"Jayne…"

"Come on Captain. We already know her story. And I haven't eaten anything in…"

"Two hours?" Zoe asked with a slight smile.

Mal attempted to look stern as a part of him lightened slightly. She might not have healed from her loss yet, but she was living instead of just going through the motions. That had to count for something.

"Oh come on Zoe, you know what I mean."

Hawk shared a look of commiseration with Simon. As he did, River spoke up.

"Can I go to?"

Simon looked over at her. "Mei-mei…"

Hawk sighed and pressed a button. "B.A."

"General?"

"Do we have any pizza left?"

"Yes General. But are you sure you don't want me to…"

"Not unless you can guarantee that it won't eat the building." Hawk snapped.

Mal and Inara blinked. Jayne ignored it in favor of talking to an increasingly annoyed Covergirl.

Simon just stared in confusion. "What?"

Hawk looked at him with a slight tic in one eye. "Don't ask."

He pressed the button again. "And B.A., just have it ready in the mess hall for our guests. And bring a box to the conference room for myself and two others."

"Yes sir."

SMACK. THUD.

Everyone turned and looked at Jayne who was lying on the floor with a dazed look on his face.

Covergirl stepped on and over him, then walked out of the room.

"It's about time." Zoe said.

River chuckled.

Hawk groaned. "I never thought I'd say this."

Then he pressed another button "Althea, would you and Todd come to the main conference room. We have a few guests for you to show around."

* * *

"So, how many planets have you been to?" Althea asked as she and Todd escorted the guests down the hallway.

Mal sighed then flinched when Inara elbowed him. "More than I can count."

"Really?"

"They were boring trips."

Althea elbowed Todd. "So you didn't write the names of you and your girlfriend on the moon?"

Mal blinked. "What?" Then he shook his head. "Never mind. I don't want to know."

They all paused as two individuals rolled out of an office, punching and kicking.

"PEPPORONI!"

"SAUSAGE!"

Mal, Jayne, and River watched them squabble. "What the…"

Althea shook her head. "It's our resident navy seal and marine. They argue at the drop of a hat. Or in this case, I'd guess pizza."

BOOM

"Now what?" Mal asked.

Todd shook his head. "Sounded like our maintenance area."

They paused to look out a window in its direction.

Jayne blinked. "Is that…"

Althea sighed. "Two grown men jousting while riding on top of their tanks? Yep."


End file.
